Growing ducks

Just when we were wondering what to do on a lazy Friday evening, Aunt Kristen called and asked if the kids would like to see some ducklings.

That's like asking if they want popsicles. Turns out that the mama duck had been H-I-T by a C-A-R (please nobody tell the kids the truth). One of Luke's co-worker's daughters had rescued the two orphaned ducklings but couldn't keep them, so Luke packed up the ducklings, called Kristen and told her he had a big surprise. Now that they're married, evidently surprises take the form of ducklings, not shiny new cars.

The kids couldn't get ready fast enough.

Luke and Kristen had bought the ducks premium duck food and set up a little habitat in a cardboard box, complete with a John Deere water bowl. From the door their dog Bruce drooled and probably wondered why he wasn't being allowed outside to eat his fuzzy little dinners. Immediately Catherine called dibbs on the yellow chick, and Vincent sat very still as the brown one pecked at his T-shirt. I was surprised they both did so well. I figured we'd have a replay of the fishing episode and that they'd both run shrieking as soon as the ducklings actually touched them.

But I was most impressed by Dominic. I expected him to pile-drive the ducklings in their box; instead he busied himself feeding them. I relaxed. Maybe there is hope for the child after all.

Then we realized Dominic was feeding the ducks fertilizer pellets from a potted plant.

It wasn't until we were on the way home that the kids started to ask questions about the ducklings' provenance. I concocted a story about how the mama duck was lost and how Kristen was going to look for her this weekend. That's when it all started to fall apart.

CATHERINE: "But how will she know where to look?"

ME: "She'll look in the place where the ducklings were found."

CATHERINE: "But what if the mama duck isn't there anymore?"

ME: "Ummmmm.... I'm sure Kristen will find her."

VINCENT: "But all mama ducks look the same. How will Aunt Kristen know which one is their mommy?"

ME: "Ummmmmm.... she just will."

VINCENT: "Does she speak duck?"

ME: "No, but Uncle Luke does."

I'm thinking that this might be the year that Santa Claus gets questioned into posterity.

Eventually the ducklings will make their way to a wildlife refuge. But for now, they've got two doting owners and occasional visitors who force-feed them fertilizer.

Maybe Dominic was just trying to help them grow so that next time it'll be a fairer fight when he pile-drives them.